A few years ago, I worked with a client who had just completed a 180-day addiction treatment program. Full of hope, he was ready to start his new life. But on his way out, he fell for a fellow patient who had just begun her own journey. I warned her not to leave and urged him not to meet up with her until she became steady and committed to recovery and continuing care. I watched his reaction; he was annoyed with me for the last moment, and he refused to say goodbye to me. He literally avoided me while leaving the facility. He was not my individual client, but he had sought my interventions for specific situations.

They left treatment together. Within 24 hours, they had relapsed together. He spent $70k in a five-star luxury rehab in South Africa, where I worked. He was back at the rehab after 3 days of discharge. He was married, and his wife hoped that he might recover and remain sober. She came back one last time and met me one-on-one. I asked her what the purpose of her visit was. She was blunt, “I came to officially inform him that I have finally decided to divorce him and move on as I realized that I’ve been codependent in our relationship.” I was shocked to learn that he left his 6-year-old daughter with the hotel staff while enjoying a rave party with his fellow addict, whom he took away from the treatment program. The child felt abandoned and terrorized. That was the last nail in the coffin for his wife and his fellow addict, hospitalized under overdose.

While every situation is different, one truth remains clear: it takes two responsible people, both committed to doing the work to heal their trauma. Otherwise, what seems like love may actually be a deep-seated attachment wound pulling both partners back into a cycle of pain.

I’ve worked with many clients who have experienced this. This is why I created my Continuing Care Program, designed to provide ongoing support beyond a treatment program. Have you been there? Have you seen someone struggling with relapse? You’re not alone. Recovery is a painful journey, but you can still heal. Are you ready to heal? Reach out today, and we can do it together.